For this day. For the sun in the sky. For my mom and my dad. For my piece of apple pie. For our home on the ground. For His love that's all around. That's why I say thanks every day!
Because a thankful heart is a happy heart. I'm glad for what I have, that's an easy way to start! For the love that He shares 'cause He listens to my prayers. That's why I say thanks every day!
Hey. It's Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? I'd like to know.
I'm thankful for my parents. For my sister. For my friends from home. For my friends from Huntington. For my friends from New Covenant. I'm thankful that I'm going home in less than 2 weeks. For the 26 weeks I've had here so far. For plans to return in the future. For the semester left of college. I'm thankful that my parents are supportive. That I have choices after I graduate. I'm thankful I got to spend all day with Shannon. That we're getting coffee together tomorrow. That I have the house to myself all weekend. I'm thankful for a place to sleep. For food every day. For loud fans and open windows. I'm thankful I have a working car. For the heater. For the CD player. For the brakes. I'm thankful for love. Christ. Discipleship. Sacrifice. Victory. Grace. Mercy. I'm thankful that God is good.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
You are far, far from where my feet were going...
But with you I'm fine not knowing. So take my hand, take my love, and all the things I'm sure of.
So I graduate from college in less than 6 months (yikes!!!)
You know how I don't know what my next step is? And how I've been seeking God's will for that next step, looking for certainty and clarity and stuff?
I think I'm doing it wrong.
I realized 2 things last night as I was falling asleep; firstly, that though I've been seeking His will for my life, deep down and unknowingly, my set condition has been that I want to be happy. God, what's Your plan for me that will make me happiest? That's the direction I want to go. If I'm not happy, I'm probably doing something wrong; I've probably messed up His plan somehow. But no, I don't think I can mess up His plan. In fact, He's promised me that I cannot. He's never promised that I'll be happy. Don't get me wrong, I don't anticipate a life full of misery and despair... but it will have it's unpleasant moments. I can count on that. I know joy, I know that as long as I follow Him I will continue to know joy. If I don't have the happiest life? If everything goes terribly wrong? He's much bigger than any problem I could ever have. Praise the Lord! All glory to Him.
Secondly, I've been asking God to make it clear. I want to make the right choices for my future, I want to make sure that my life is something He can use, something that's pleasing and good in His sight.
But I've already been promised that. He WILL use me and it WILL be good. God doesn't go back on His promises, does He? Never. Never ever.
I have not been promised certainty. In fact, what's asked of me is just the opposite. Our God requires faith. Faith that He is. Faith that, whatever happens, it's for His good. Faith that, whatever decisions we make, they can be used for His purposes. Faith that His promises will come true. Faith. Never certainty.
If I base everything I do on certainty, where's room for faith?
So I graduate from college in less than 6 months (yikes!!!)
You know how I don't know what my next step is? And how I've been seeking God's will for that next step, looking for certainty and clarity and stuff?
I think I'm doing it wrong.
I realized 2 things last night as I was falling asleep; firstly, that though I've been seeking His will for my life, deep down and unknowingly, my set condition has been that I want to be happy. God, what's Your plan for me that will make me happiest? That's the direction I want to go. If I'm not happy, I'm probably doing something wrong; I've probably messed up His plan somehow. But no, I don't think I can mess up His plan. In fact, He's promised me that I cannot. He's never promised that I'll be happy. Don't get me wrong, I don't anticipate a life full of misery and despair... but it will have it's unpleasant moments. I can count on that. I know joy, I know that as long as I follow Him I will continue to know joy. If I don't have the happiest life? If everything goes terribly wrong? He's much bigger than any problem I could ever have. Praise the Lord! All glory to Him.
Secondly, I've been asking God to make it clear. I want to make the right choices for my future, I want to make sure that my life is something He can use, something that's pleasing and good in His sight.
But I've already been promised that. He WILL use me and it WILL be good. God doesn't go back on His promises, does He? Never. Never ever.
I have not been promised certainty. In fact, what's asked of me is just the opposite. Our God requires faith. Faith that He is. Faith that, whatever happens, it's for His good. Faith that, whatever decisions we make, they can be used for His purposes. Faith that His promises will come true. Faith. Never certainty.
If I base everything I do on certainty, where's room for faith?
Friday, November 20, 2009
You say "Rest here, this is your home. Don't you see that you knew I was here all along?"
Wow. WOW. Twenty days left until I leave. Nineteen days until I teach for the last time. Eighteen days until I'm "officially" done with PRIME. W. O. W.
I can't believe how quickly it's gone by. It feels like I just got here.
Ok. Enough of that. There's time for it later. In 19 days.
We just had our Sr. High fall retreat this last weekend; it was so good. The entire thing was about making connections, focusing on the one another verses and on us as the Body of Christ. Cai from HU came to provide worship (which was AMAZING, btw.) and about 12 sponsors and students shared their testimonies with the group throughout the 3 days. It was so cool to see how God worked through them--the testimonies, the worship, and just the students themselves-- and how He used their time and inclusiveness to allow them to build one another up. I got the chance to meet some new people and to strengthen some already existing relationships, and it was wonderful.
This weekend--well, tonight--we have the equipping staff and elder and deacon retreat... I really don't know what to expect, but hopefully it'll be a good learning experience for all of us. And then tomorrow, Luke comes to evaluate me on Sunday. Eeep! I'm not too insanely nervous about it, which is a miracle in itself... so I'm just praying and hoping for the best!
Anyways, things are still good. I'm trying to make the most of every moment I can, knowing my time left here is short. I'm gonna have some difficult good-byes in the near future... :( and some very easy hellos. :)
Amanda
I can't believe how quickly it's gone by. It feels like I just got here.
Ok. Enough of that. There's time for it later. In 19 days.
We just had our Sr. High fall retreat this last weekend; it was so good. The entire thing was about making connections, focusing on the one another verses and on us as the Body of Christ. Cai from HU came to provide worship (which was AMAZING, btw.) and about 12 sponsors and students shared their testimonies with the group throughout the 3 days. It was so cool to see how God worked through them--the testimonies, the worship, and just the students themselves-- and how He used their time and inclusiveness to allow them to build one another up. I got the chance to meet some new people and to strengthen some already existing relationships, and it was wonderful.
This weekend--well, tonight--we have the equipping staff and elder and deacon retreat... I really don't know what to expect, but hopefully it'll be a good learning experience for all of us. And then tomorrow, Luke comes to evaluate me on Sunday. Eeep! I'm not too insanely nervous about it, which is a miracle in itself... so I'm just praying and hoping for the best!
Anyways, things are still good. I'm trying to make the most of every moment I can, knowing my time left here is short. I'm gonna have some difficult good-byes in the near future... :( and some very easy hellos. :)
Amanda
Monday, November 9, 2009
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face; and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.
So here's the deal: I've been thinking again. Sorry.
This WILL jump around all over the place. Fair warning.
Spirituality. What is it?
"Christian spirituality is not a journey into self as if spirituality is found in the deep recesses of our nature, hidden inside of us, waiting for release. No, true Christian spirituality is the embrace of Jesus, who, united to God, restores our union with God that we lost because of sin. This is how the ancient church understood God's embrace." -The Divine Embrace, 127
I will never complete myself. No matter how much I discover about me, no matter how hard I try, on my own steam I'll never be enough.
I think all too often we ask God, "What's in it for me?" We need to know how it will benefit me, and we won't take another step until we find it out. Do you see the problem here?
Real spirituality is not asking what I can get. It's asking "what can I give?" Instead of looking for what we can gain, it's looking for how we can serve.
It's not looking to me (or yourself) for the answers.
I'm human. I fail. I was created to be perfect, yet in my human weakness I fall down every day. I don't have the answers, I never will. I cannot make it on my own strength; I'm weak. I try to hide it, pretend like I've got it all together... but I don't. And I never will.
See, I can't put "it" together. I've tried, every once in a while when I'm not attentive I try again. And every time, it falls apart. Without fail.
But God has offered me His strength. How foolish I am to think that I could go for even one second without it! How can I forget that it's only because of Him that I'm here in the first place, that I'm breathing, that I can think, walk, talk... live! How selfish I am. As if it were all about me, my needs, what I want...
And yet, if (and when) I should falter, how selfish of me that I would internalize the guilt, focusing on myself and my sin and my failure and my pain and my sorrow. I fell; God will pick me back up, dust me off, dry my tears, embrace me once more, and whisper in my ear "I forgive you. I paid for your sin, you are pure and blameless in my sight. I love you my child. There is nothing you could ever do that would cause me to stop loving you." He loves me. A sinner. Incomplete, completely dependant, selfish me. And He will for always. And I cannot change that.
His grace covers me. I've been steeped in sin, yet I'm drenched in grace.
He is mighty, powerful, pure, good... and so many other describing words, I could fill up this page a million times and be nowhere near describing how awesome He is. He is worthy of my praise, worthy of my attention. Nothing else. Him. I have to wonder, what would it look like if I lived like I believe this at all times?
This WILL jump around all over the place. Fair warning.
Spirituality. What is it?
"Christian spirituality is not a journey into self as if spirituality is found in the deep recesses of our nature, hidden inside of us, waiting for release. No, true Christian spirituality is the embrace of Jesus, who, united to God, restores our union with God that we lost because of sin. This is how the ancient church understood God's embrace." -The Divine Embrace, 127
I will never complete myself. No matter how much I discover about me, no matter how hard I try, on my own steam I'll never be enough.
I think all too often we ask God, "What's in it for me?" We need to know how it will benefit me, and we won't take another step until we find it out. Do you see the problem here?
Real spirituality is not asking what I can get. It's asking "what can I give?" Instead of looking for what we can gain, it's looking for how we can serve.
It's not looking to me (or yourself) for the answers.
I'm human. I fail. I was created to be perfect, yet in my human weakness I fall down every day. I don't have the answers, I never will. I cannot make it on my own strength; I'm weak. I try to hide it, pretend like I've got it all together... but I don't. And I never will.
See, I can't put "it" together. I've tried, every once in a while when I'm not attentive I try again. And every time, it falls apart. Without fail.
But God has offered me His strength. How foolish I am to think that I could go for even one second without it! How can I forget that it's only because of Him that I'm here in the first place, that I'm breathing, that I can think, walk, talk... live! How selfish I am. As if it were all about me, my needs, what I want...
And yet, if (and when) I should falter, how selfish of me that I would internalize the guilt, focusing on myself and my sin and my failure and my pain and my sorrow. I fell; God will pick me back up, dust me off, dry my tears, embrace me once more, and whisper in my ear "I forgive you. I paid for your sin, you are pure and blameless in my sight. I love you my child. There is nothing you could ever do that would cause me to stop loving you." He loves me. A sinner. Incomplete, completely dependant, selfish me. And He will for always. And I cannot change that.
His grace covers me. I've been steeped in sin, yet I'm drenched in grace.
He is mighty, powerful, pure, good... and so many other describing words, I could fill up this page a million times and be nowhere near describing how awesome He is. He is worthy of my praise, worthy of my attention. Nothing else. Him. I have to wonder, what would it look like if I lived like I believe this at all times?
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Things may have worked out not the way I thought they would, but You still have a plan, still have a plan for me.
You're Holy, You're good, You're sovereign, You could do anything You wanted to; but You've chosen this way, so I will say that I still, that I still, I still trust You.
Another post less than 48 hours after the last one? Can you handle it?
So today someone said something. Genious, Amanda, good job. Two points.
They said that they don't really want to be labeled as "Christian." That even on facebook, they have something like "Jesus Follower." I don't disagree, I don't have "Christian" on facebook either, there are definitely things about our Christian culture with which I'd rather not be associated.
But Christianity as a whole, the Christian population, aren't we the Body of Christ? Now he didn't mean he was anti-church; quite the contrary, actually... but it got me thinking. I, myself, am a member of the Body. Singular. One. Me. God considers me His child, pure and holy in His sight. I AM following Him. But I'm not following Him alone, and my walk with Him is not limited to me. It's affected by my brothers and sisters in Christ almost everyday, and my walk with Him affects those around me as well. As those labeled Christians, as members of the Body, we have a significant role in each others' lives; we are to love. Our purpose is to love each other in such a way that God's love is demonstrated; a way that makes nonbelievers wonder why.
I'm not saying that rejecting the Christian label will prevent this or influence this negatively; in fact I think it's important to not just call ourselves a Christian without defining what that really means. But to me, completely rejecting the title "Christian" in a sense means rejecting the Christian church, the Body. God gave us the church to encourage, to lift each others' spirits, and to keep each other on track. Christians.
So I guess whatever you label it, Christian, Jesus follower, Child of God, whatever, be in community. Love your neighbor as yourself. Do nice things for people. Encourage somebody. Just don't forget that you're part of the Body of Christ, the church, the Christian community, and that we need each other more than we realize.
Just some food for thought. I don't think it's completely consistent the entire way through, but it's almost 1 a.m. You can't expect TOO much from me at this point... :)
Me :)
Another post less than 48 hours after the last one? Can you handle it?
So today someone said something. Genious, Amanda, good job. Two points.
They said that they don't really want to be labeled as "Christian." That even on facebook, they have something like "Jesus Follower." I don't disagree, I don't have "Christian" on facebook either, there are definitely things about our Christian culture with which I'd rather not be associated.
But Christianity as a whole, the Christian population, aren't we the Body of Christ? Now he didn't mean he was anti-church; quite the contrary, actually... but it got me thinking. I, myself, am a member of the Body. Singular. One. Me. God considers me His child, pure and holy in His sight. I AM following Him. But I'm not following Him alone, and my walk with Him is not limited to me. It's affected by my brothers and sisters in Christ almost everyday, and my walk with Him affects those around me as well. As those labeled Christians, as members of the Body, we have a significant role in each others' lives; we are to love. Our purpose is to love each other in such a way that God's love is demonstrated; a way that makes nonbelievers wonder why.
I'm not saying that rejecting the Christian label will prevent this or influence this negatively; in fact I think it's important to not just call ourselves a Christian without defining what that really means. But to me, completely rejecting the title "Christian" in a sense means rejecting the Christian church, the Body. God gave us the church to encourage, to lift each others' spirits, and to keep each other on track. Christians.
So I guess whatever you label it, Christian, Jesus follower, Child of God, whatever, be in community. Love your neighbor as yourself. Do nice things for people. Encourage somebody. Just don't forget that you're part of the Body of Christ, the church, the Christian community, and that we need each other more than we realize.
Just some food for thought. I don't think it's completely consistent the entire way through, but it's almost 1 a.m. You can't expect TOO much from me at this point... :)
Me :)
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Despite our selfish inhibitions to belong, we've got to give You the chance to prove us wrong.
Good grief, it's been a month since I last updated! Where does the time go? October feels like it just started yesterday, and it's November already... I leave in 5 weeks. Five weeks and 2 days. My gosh, it's gonna fly.
So let's see... we had the middle school fall retreat a few weeks back. It was awesome; I had the privilege of being on the worship team, which I loved. It went well, the kids were great, energy was high, and it was a ton of fun. The whole weekend overall was great, there were very few problems; we were very thankful! And the kids were just a blast to be with. :)
Once a month we have youth Ministry Fellowship at New Covenant. Every youth pastor in the area is invited to lunch, and after we eat we meet for about an hour or 2, sharing stories, telling what works, telling what doesn't work, sharing announcements, sharing concerns, sharing ideas, etc. It's such a healthy environment, so is New Covenant; I'm so afraid I'm getting spoiled here. But I'm enjoying the whole experience immensely. :) ANYWAYS, 2 weeks or so ago we had the Youth Ministry Fellowship retreat. We went to a camp about an hour away and stayed the night. We talked about ministry, and teens, and missions, and marriage, and family, and God and... life. It was such a good experience.
One of the topics discussed, as I said, was marriage. (Funny how this is the thing that stuck out to me most from the weekend, considering my most recent facebook note...) One of the couples there has 8 kids, from 2 to 18. I'm not sure how we got on the topic, but somehow they ended up talking about how they keep their marriage alive and have time for each other with so many in the house (one is in college... the rest are still at home.) Their response was surprising to me at first; they said that their house is centered around them. They don't let their kids be involved in everything they want to do, they don't cater to their every wish. They put each other, their marriage, above the desires of their children. It's almost sad that this was something that needed explaining; isn't that what a marriage is supposed to be? It's putting your spouse above any other person on the planet, taking care of their needs and wants first, even before your children. It's intentionally spending time together amidst a chaotic week. It's making sacrifices. It's something much greater than I can comprehend right now, something I will never fully grasp until I am married myself... It's a husband loving his wife as Christ loves the Church, taking care of her and never forsaking her; it's a wife respecting her husband and submitting fully to him, understanding that he loves her and wants what's best for her. It's the most important relationship we can ever have with another human being. I want that. When I have a family, I want a household like that.
I think I'll end here. I hope all of you reading this (HA! All like 3 of you...) are doing well, I hope your semesters are treating you well, I hope you finish strong. It'll be over before you know it. Enjoy each moment as it comes.
Much love,
Amanda :)
So let's see... we had the middle school fall retreat a few weeks back. It was awesome; I had the privilege of being on the worship team, which I loved. It went well, the kids were great, energy was high, and it was a ton of fun. The whole weekend overall was great, there were very few problems; we were very thankful! And the kids were just a blast to be with. :)
Once a month we have youth Ministry Fellowship at New Covenant. Every youth pastor in the area is invited to lunch, and after we eat we meet for about an hour or 2, sharing stories, telling what works, telling what doesn't work, sharing announcements, sharing concerns, sharing ideas, etc. It's such a healthy environment, so is New Covenant; I'm so afraid I'm getting spoiled here. But I'm enjoying the whole experience immensely. :) ANYWAYS, 2 weeks or so ago we had the Youth Ministry Fellowship retreat. We went to a camp about an hour away and stayed the night. We talked about ministry, and teens, and missions, and marriage, and family, and God and... life. It was such a good experience.
One of the topics discussed, as I said, was marriage. (Funny how this is the thing that stuck out to me most from the weekend, considering my most recent facebook note...) One of the couples there has 8 kids, from 2 to 18. I'm not sure how we got on the topic, but somehow they ended up talking about how they keep their marriage alive and have time for each other with so many in the house (one is in college... the rest are still at home.) Their response was surprising to me at first; they said that their house is centered around them. They don't let their kids be involved in everything they want to do, they don't cater to their every wish. They put each other, their marriage, above the desires of their children. It's almost sad that this was something that needed explaining; isn't that what a marriage is supposed to be? It's putting your spouse above any other person on the planet, taking care of their needs and wants first, even before your children. It's intentionally spending time together amidst a chaotic week. It's making sacrifices. It's something much greater than I can comprehend right now, something I will never fully grasp until I am married myself... It's a husband loving his wife as Christ loves the Church, taking care of her and never forsaking her; it's a wife respecting her husband and submitting fully to him, understanding that he loves her and wants what's best for her. It's the most important relationship we can ever have with another human being. I want that. When I have a family, I want a household like that.
I think I'll end here. I hope all of you reading this (HA! All like 3 of you...) are doing well, I hope your semesters are treating you well, I hope you finish strong. It'll be over before you know it. Enjoy each moment as it comes.
Much love,
Amanda :)
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