You are far, far from where my feet were going...

But with you I'm fine not knowing. So take my hand, take my love, and all the things I'm sure of.

So I graduate from college in less than 6 months (yikes!!!)

You know how I don't know what my next step is? And how I've been seeking God's will for that next step, looking for certainty and clarity and stuff?

I think I'm doing it wrong.

I realized 2 things last night as I was falling asleep; firstly, that though I've been seeking His will for my life, deep down and unknowingly, my set condition has been that I want to be happy. God, what's Your plan for me that will make me happiest? That's the direction I want to go. If I'm not happy, I'm probably doing something wrong; I've probably messed up His plan somehow. But no, I don't think I can mess up His plan. In fact, He's promised me that I cannot. He's never promised that I'll be happy. Don't get me wrong, I don't anticipate a life full of misery and despair... but it will have it's unpleasant moments. I can count on that. I know joy, I know that as long as I follow Him I will continue to know joy. If I don't have the happiest life? If everything goes terribly wrong? He's much bigger than any problem I could ever have. Praise the Lord! All glory to Him.

Secondly, I've been asking God to make it clear. I want to make the right choices for my future, I want to make sure that my life is something He can use, something that's pleasing and good in His sight.

But I've already been promised that. He WILL use me and it WILL be good. God doesn't go back on His promises, does He? Never. Never ever.

I have not been promised certainty. In fact, what's asked of me is just the opposite. Our God requires faith. Faith that He is. Faith that, whatever happens, it's for His good. Faith that, whatever decisions we make, they can be used for His purposes. Faith that His promises will come true. Faith. Never certainty.

If I base everything I do on certainty, where's room for faith?